loving this. got a beer and the speakers turned way up (sorry neighbors). time for random access memories.
good night. it kind of blows my mind that I’m sitting here watching an entire documentary on TV about jake, eleven years since the first time I saw him at a tiny little hawaiian music festival. it’s honestly making me a little emotional to see how far he’s come. the whole world gets to hear his music now. it’s incredible. I’m so, so happy for him. congratulations, jake. “The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always wanted to not give a fuck about anything. I viewed feelings as a weakness — annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn’t have to feel them anymore. But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there’s a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck. Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don’t feel very different. Which leads to horrible, soul-decaying boredom.” |
